Handling Opinions about Your Gestational Surrogacy

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Surrogacy is one of life’s most exciting journeys for both IPs and Surrogates alike.  The joy felt during this thrilling time period is monumental, something you will no doubt want to share with those closest to you.  Unfortunately, as many Surrogates and IPs have found, not everyone will be able or willing to share in your enthusiasm. Many people do not understand surrogacy, and we know it can be difficult to handle negative opinions from others, especially with a topic so close to heart.

Many Surrogates and IPs do receive full support from their friends and family, which is wonderful. However, it is always best to be prepared for if and when questions begin to rise. Below, we’ve compiled a list of recommended methods for responding to opinions regarding surrogacy.

  • Answering “why?”  This is often the first and most important question from loved ones. Answer truthfully and from the heart. If you are an intended parent, why are you turning to surrogacy? Maybe adoption isn’t an option for you. For surrogates, maybe you’ve had terrific pregnancies and want to help someone who hasn’t been as fortunate. Whatever your reasons may be, keep in mind it is your choice. Helping others to see what you see may not always be successful, but it is a great starting point for those trying to understand.
  • Fielding negative opinions.  It is important to understand that sometimes, nothing you can say or do will change how others view surrogacy; some people will simply refuse to be supportive. Reasons for this range from religious beliefs to financial views, to people merely stuck in old-fashioned customs. Although some opinions can be hurtful, it is best to answer a negative comment with a positive response. Focus on the humanistic aspects and revert back to your reasons for turning to surrogacy in the first place.
  • Sharing the joy. Keep your support system near. The positive people are the ones you need during this time – celebrate them! Despite any negative responses you may receive from others, you are part of a miraculous experience, one you will want to look back and remember fondly. Surround yourself with others who share your enthusiasm for what you are doing. These will be the people who will lift you up and be your positive reinforcement when you need them most.

Keep in mind you chose surrogacy because it was the right choice for you. Not everyone will agree, but handle all opinions – both positive and negative – with grace, and continue to look forward to the birth of the baby.  The road may be bumpy, but the miracle in the end will make it all worthwhile. If you need help on how to tell others about surrogacy, contact Surrogate Solutions today!

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