If your spouse or significant other is thinking about being a gestational surrogate, they are going to need a lot of support from family, friends and especially you. Are you ready? Here’s what you need to know.
Your support isn’t optional
Many surrogacy agencies require you to sign off on the surrogacy agreement before the journey can proceed. Talk to your partner about any concerns you have before committing, and feel free to talk with the consultants at your surrogacy agency.
Here are some common questions partners of gestational surrogates ask:
What is gestational surrogacy?
In gestational surrogacy, the baby is created from the genetic material of the intended parents or donors. The surrogate carries the baby to term, but she is not in any way related. This is important to avoid questions of custody or parentage. When the gestational surrogate hands the baby over to the intended parents, she is not giving up her baby, it is not hers to give. Some gestational surrogates like to refer to it as nine months of babysitting.
How does she become pregnant?
The surrogate and the intended parents will meet in a fertility clinic or the offices of a reproductive endocrinologist. The surrogate will be physically prepared for pregnancy with medications. (Some of them are injectables and she may appreciate your help.) The genetic material of the intended parents will have been combined through in-vitro fertilization, creating embryos. Embryos are then implanted in the surrogate (Usually just one or two. The number is agreed to ahead of time). Then she goes home or to her hotel if she had to travel for the implantation.
What do you need to do?
Help her take it easy for a day or two after implantation. Abstain from intercourse a month or so before the implantation appointment until her pregnancy test comes back positive. Throughout the pregnancy you may need to help out a bit, as you would in any other pregnancy. In her first few weeks of pregnancy she may be tired and nauseated. Toward the end, she may be uncomfortable, especially if she ends up carrying twins. Do what you can to make her feel better and pick up the slack around the house.
Is this going to be expensive for us?
No, the intended parents will cover all expenses associated with the pregnancy. That includes everything from maternity clothes, to medical expenses, to travel.
What if she has complications? How does this impact our family?
From a medical perspective, the intended parents will cover all medical expenses for your partner and the baby. If there are complications, for example, and she needs to go on bed rest, the intended parents will get you the help your partner needs. This could mean paying for childcare for your children or hiring a housekeeper to take care of the home. This will all be spelled out in the contract which you and your partner should take time to read thoroughly.
Don’t forget that by choosing to become a gestational surrogate, your partner is giving the greatest gift possible to a couple who is unable to have children on their own. But, this is a big decision, so be sure to talk it all over with your partner. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact Surrogate Solutions. We’re here to make the surrogacy journey a happy one for everyone involved.