What are the Top Mistakes Women Make as a First-Time Surrogate?

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This month, we’re continuing our series of conversations with Surrogate Solutions founder and Surrogacy Program Director, Gayle Garrett. Gayle has worked with many gestational surrogates and has even served as a surrogate herself. Some of her staff members have been surrogates as many as three of four times.

Gayle is a registered nurse with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, Oklahoma and is the mother of two.

Today we are talking with Gayle about the top mistakes women make as a first-time surrogate.  Here are some of the insights she shared:

Not Enough Research

When women consider becoming a gestational surrogate, they often don’t do enough research about the costs and time involved. “Of course, medical and other expenses related to the surrogacy are covered by the intended parents,” Gayle said, “But it’s really important to consider the potential impact on their health, family and jobs.”

Expecting an Easy Pregnancy

Most women come to surrogacy because their pregnancies and deliveries were relatively easy. They may be surprised to learn that every pregnancy is different. If they sailed though their last pregnancy, they still need to consider their next could be very different. They should ask themselves if they have support in place if they end up with debilitating morning sickness or are ordered to bedrest.

Not Considering Emotional Impact

First time surrogates may be unprepared for the emotional reaction of the intended parents. “They expect them to be 100 percent happy and excited, but intended parents may approach with caution,” said Gayle. Gestational surrogates can forget that intended parents may have spent countless years attempting to conceive, suffered multiple miscarriages or undergone invasive medical procedures and spent many thousands of dollars only to be frustrated. “The IPs may still be grieving their loss or be afraid to hope,” said Gayle. “It’s important to let people feel how they feel and let them process in their own time.”

Failing to Ask Questions

Another common mistake first time surrogates make is not asking enough questions of your agency. You need to feel like they are the right fit and they will be there to support you. Some surrogates “agency shop” thinking they will just go with the one that promises the highest fees. But in the end, there is little difference in compensation from firm to firm, but there can be an enormous difference in responsiveness.

Don’t hesitate to ask all the questions you need to make yourself comfortable with the process and the agency. If you are looking for additional information on becoming a gestational surrogate, please contact us at Surrogate Solutions today!

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