Choosing surrogacy as the right path for you to have children is a very personal decision. Often times, it is a decision couples feel very alone in when they begin to consider and research surrogacy. That’s why we’ve made the decision to share real couples’ stories of surrogacy – to answer questions, and to also show you are far from being alone in this monumental choice, which for many, has proven to be the miracle they had only hoped for.
We first met Andy and Elizabeth in 2009. A happy, loving, and successful couple who had always planned on raising a family together. On their sixth anniversary, Andy presented Elizabeth with a baby name book and told her it was time. To this day, it remains one of the most meaningful gifts she has ever received.
Although Andy and Elizabeth were ready to begin growing their family, life had other plans. Elizabeth soon discovered she was ill with fibroid tumors and that needed to be acted on aggressively. After having over 100 tumors removed, two blood transfusions, and three surgeries, Elizabeth was left with a badly damaged uterus, and the couple began to realize that surrogacy may be their only answer to having biological children of their own.
Like many couples, Andy and Elizabeth were unsure where to begin their surrogacy journey. After meeting with fertility specialists, counselors, attorneys, surrogacy agencies, and potential surrogates, the couple found themselves feeling extremely overwhelmed, and still uninformed. That’s when they met us at Surrogate Solutions. Here, we believe education is the first, most important step of a successful journey, so we made certain Andy and Elizabeth had the direction and guidance they needed to make informed decisions for themselves.
Although the saying “love at first sight” is generally reserved for romantic encounters, it is the best way Elizabeth has found to describe meeting their surrogate, Michelle.
“We met Michelle and her husband, Rory, over lunch. She immediately reminded me of one of my best friends. Her heart is so big, I could literally almost see it beating from across the table. After lunch, [Surrogate Solutions] called to say Michelle shared our feelings and wanted to carry our child.”
That was only the beginning of Andy, Elizabeth, Michelle and her family’s journey together; now it was time for the real work to begin. The couples began working on their legal contracts and attending counseling. Elizabeth and Michelle also began taking fertility medication to synchronize their cycles for fresh embryo transfer. Although it isn’t the most pleasant experience, it was a true bonding process for the women, who each agreed that the excitement greatly outweighed the painful parts and were well worth it. Today, Andy and Elizabeth are the proud parents of a beautiful, soon-to-be 2-year-old boy named John.
Rory and Michelle’s love and dedication didn’t stop after John’s birth, though. According to Elizabeth,
“Our son John is blessed to have [Michelle and Rory (Michelle’s husband)] for godparents. Michelle loves him so much that she pumped breast milk for three months. Who would have thought that my child would even reap the benefits of breast milk? She has a heart of gold and a direct pass into heaven.”
Six months after John’s birth, we suggested Andy and Elizabeth consider working with a new couple we had recently met to have a second child. They agreed that John deserved a sibling, and our second journey with Andy and Elizabeth was underway.
Originally, Andy and Elizabeth only wanted to work with a surrogate that was in their local area, so it would be easier to attend appointments together and be in close proximity throughout the pregnancy. However, after meeting Amber (who lived three hours away), they quickly changed their mind. “The person was more important than location, and we could overcome the distance together,” stated Elizabeth. The bond they quickly formed with Amber made the distance unimportant. Andy, Elizabeth, and John soon welcomed Owen into their happy family.
Although every couple is unique, Andy and Elizabeth feel blessed to have formed a strong bond with each of their surrogates.
“We know that we have painted a very rosy picture of how our experiences were both unique and beautiful; however, I truly believe this result was achieved because we found the right person to help promote and guide us in the right direction. Before we met [Surrogate Solutions], we were met with almost four years of disappointment and were financially drained. We had an inexperienced doctor. We were vulnerable to ‘snake salesmen’. We felt no sense of control over our pregnancy. We were blackmailed and berated. Needless to say, we were almost ready to throw in the towel.”
Like many couples we have met, Andy and Elizabeth firmly believe surrogacy can be successful with the right guidance and good intentions. Infertility is hard enough without suffering from people taking advantage of your situation or being a victim of your own ignorance. When asked what piece of advice they would give to other prospective parents, they each agreed: educate yourself, trust your instincts, and maintain a positive attitude throughout the process. You will want to remember your child coming into this world as a happy memory.
“Surrogacy can be scary. However, when made with the right ingredients such as good intentions, love, respect, trust and an experienced guide, surrogacy births are a miracle just like every other birth. It is okay to be stressed and feel overwhelmed by the process. It is okay to think how unfair it is that you have to make such tough decisions. Trust us, the outcome will make all the fears and pain be a distant memory.”
We at Surrogate Solutions chose to share Andy and Elizabeth’s story to show other couples they are not alone on their journey to having a family. We are looking forward to sharing other couples’ stories in the future. If you have any questions, or would like to discuss surrogacy in greater detail, please do not hesitate to contact Surrogate Solutions today.