Transfer day – the day that your embryos are transferred to your surrogate – is a big day. It’s full of emotion for the intended parents and the surrogate (whose emotions are likely hormonally enhanced).
Is it best for you to be with your surrogate or for her to go it on her own or with a friend? It’s a medically simple procedure, requiring no anesthesia and taking less than thirty minutes to complete, but as with all things related to fertility, the process itself is just the tip of the iceberg.
What kind of relationship would you like to have with the surrogate?
Intended parents are comfortable with a range of surrogacy partnerships. Do you consider the surrogate to be a part of your family? A provider of a service in a strictly business sense? Someplace in between? Your anticipated relationship may play a role in your decision.
Do you live nearby?
If you are in the same city, by all means go, if you and the surrogate agree. Intended parents who live in another state may want to think it over. If your budget is limited, you may have to weigh traveling for the transfer, which will not show results for at least two weeks, against scheduling a visit when she is further along. Would your time and money be better spent visiting for the first ultrasound, or do you really want to hold her hand at transfer? It’s really up to the intended parents and the surrogate.
Do you need to feel like a part of the process?
As intended parents, you may never experience a pregnancy of your own. If it’s important to you that you be there every step of the way, that’s fine. It may allow you take charge of your fertility battle. Or maybe you would like to nurture the surrogate in appreciation for helping you to create your family.
As with every step in your surrogacy journey, communication is essential. Talk to your agency to see what they recommend. Communicate with your surrogate to see what she would prefer. And speak to your spouse to come to a decision that works for all of you.
If you are looking for advice on what kind of IP/surrogate relationship is best for your family or if you need guidance along any step of your surrogacy journey, contact the experienced professionals at Surrogate Solutions!