Have you ever looked at children and wondered how it could be possible they have such different personalities, despite being raised in the exact same environment? Chances are, you may even have the same experience with your own siblings. Believe it or not, psychological studies dating back nearly four decades show that birth order plays a distinct role in shaping the person you were growing up as well as the adult you become. So what exactly is this role and what does it mean?
Simply put, birth order refers to the science of understanding each child’s place in the family line. Whether you were the firstborn, middle child, youngest, or only child, your birth order has had a profound influence on your life. This also rings true for surrogate babies. When parenting your new baby or preparing your older children for the arrival of a younger sibling, consider the following:
- Firstborns and only children.
Firstborns tend to be natural leaders and perfectionists. Only children typically take these characteristics to the next level by working independently and maturing faster than their peers. When disciplining firstborns and only children, be mindful of their need to understand the rules and make time for one-on-one or two-on-one parents and child time, as they will likely respond better to adult company than children.
- Middle children are almost always the exact opposite of the child above them in their birth order; however, they also tend to be the negotiators looking to keep the peace. Middle children are the most difficult to pin down because they tend to walk to the beat of their own drum. It may take extra effort to make the middle child feel special. Consider setting up special activities that the middle child can look forward to each week and set aside time for just the two of you to talk.
- Lastborns tend to be the social butterflies of the family. They are the outgoing, spontaneous, children who love people and are the life of the party. Make sure your lastborn has his or her fair share of household responsibilities and avoid letting them off the hook from the rules or discipline. You may also want to consider introducing your youngest child to reading at an early age.
While birth order is not a cookie-cutter science that will ensure how each of your children will grow up, it can be used as a solid predictor with some tips on how to prepare. Whether you are looking for resources or advice on how to introduce your new child to your family or what to expect as a first time parent, Surrogate Solutions is here to help. Contact Gayle and her experienced team of caring specialists to set up a consultation today!