One of the most exciting moments for both parties in a surrogacy journey is when the Surrogate and Intended Parents are matched. Whether you are looking to foster an intimate bond or maintain a strictly professional relationship, you will be working closely with your Intended Parents for at least the better part of a year. This is why it is of the utmost importance to ensure both parties are on the same page where values, expectations, and comfort levels are concerned. The best way to ensure this is to have an open and honest discussion right from the get go. When preparing to meet your potential IPs for the first time, consider asking the following eight questions to get the conversation rolling in the right direction:
Why have you chosen surrogacy?
This is a great opening question to lead into each of you sharing your own stories and reasons for choosing the path of surrogacy.
What would be your ideal relationship before, during, and after the birth?
Many Surrogates and IPs form a close friendship that continues beyond the baby’s birth. Others prefer to only communicate about the surrogacy and only when necessary. It’s important to know and respect each other’s wishes.
How many IVF cycles are you willing to attempt?
Sometimes IVF is successful on the first try, other times it takes multiple attempts. Speak openly about your comfort level and willingness right away to avoid any surprises down the road.
How involved would you like to be during the pregnancy?
Some IPs want to attend as many doctor appointments as possible, or even get lunch and catch up on occasion; others simply prefer quick updates from time to time. Make sure all expectations are out in the open right away.
How much contact do you expect?
Your IPs may prefer touching base weekly while others will be perfectly comfortable only receiving updates as they are available. It’s important to make sure neither party over or under delivers on contact.
How do you feel about multiple births?
Twins and triplets are fairly common during IVF. Some IPs may not be prepared to become parents of multiple babies at once while others may consider it a blessing.
What are your expectations for the birth?
Do your IPs want to be in the delivery room when the baby is born? Are you comfortable with this decision if it’s what they want?
What questions or concerns do you have?
No matter the level of relationship you desire, it’s important to make sure you are comfortable and on the same page with your potential IPs. Taking the time to ask and answer candid questions during the initial meeting will help ensure you’ve found your correct match.
If you are looking for additional information, or have questions regarding the matching process, do not hesitate to contact Surrogate Solutions today!