Are They “The One?” Knowing if potential IPs will be a good fit for you.

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Finding the right Intended Parents is just as important for the Surrogate as finding the right Surrogate is for the Intended Parents.  In fact, finding the right couple is absolutely vital to having a successful and healthy pregnancy. Although your agency will play a large part in finding IPs who will match your lifestyle and values, who you will be carrying for will ultimately be your decision.

Each pregnancy is unique. Whether this is your first or fifth surrogacy, there are important questions, factors, and ideals you’ll want to discuss with your potential IPs before making a definite decision. Consider the following topic points as a starting board to guide you into this important dialog with your potential couple(s):

  • Path to surrogacy.  There are many different reasons for choosing surrogacy as the answer to having a child. What brought your couple to this solution? Discuss your reasons as well. The first heart-to-heart conversation will prove to be eye opening as well as lay some common ground for mutual understanding.
  • Sensitive issues. Discussing sticky topics such as selective reduction and the number of embryos you are comfortable transferring can feel awkward initially; however, you’ll be thankful you brought them out into the open so early in the game. Determining whether everyone involved is on the same page right off the bat can help prevent uncomfortable situations moving forward.
  • Relationship expectations. How much contact with you are they hoping to have during, and after the pregnancy? Some couples go into surrogacy hoping to create a tight bond, attend doctor appointments together, and remain in touch after the baby is born. Others approach surrogacy more as a business transaction and prefer to avoid building a relationship with the Surrogate. Discussing these expectations beforehand will help ensure everyone’s expectations are met and prevent future let downs.
  • Medical expenses. Will the couple’s health insurance cover surrogacy or will they need to reimburse you? This is a topic that sometimes takes time to sort out with the insurance companies, so the sooner you begin discussing it together, the sooner both parties can get the ball rolling to finding the answers.
  • Delivery and beyond. What are the couple’s expectations for the birth? Are they comfortable with both parties’ families being present? Will they expect you to provide breast milk? Although these questions are very forward thinking, it’s never too early to begin discussing matters so close to the heart, especially when doing so will be highly beneficial for knowing what to expect and minimizing surprises.

Ideally, you should be able to speak with your Intended Parents the same way you would talk to your friends. Many Surrogates and Intended Parents feel that finding the right match is very similar to dating; you talk to many people, get to know them, and when you finally find the right one, you can just feel it. If you are looking for more information on finding the right surrogacy match, contact Surrogate Solutions today!

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