If you’re considering becoming a gestational surrogate, one of the most crucial factors is selecting the intended parents you will be carrying a child for. This is an intimate and complex relationship, so making the right connection is vital. Of course, your surrogacy agency will be able to guide you along the way, but here are five important things to consider.
Comfort. Look for IPs with whom you feel a sense of comfort and ease. Your first meeting may feel a bit like a first date, but just like a great date, there comes a point you both relax and sense you are going to click. There will be much more to consider when deciding on the right IPs, but don’t be afraid to begin by trusting your gut.
Respect. You will be making many sacrifices over the next year or more to help the IPs create a family. It’s reasonable to expect they appreciate you. You’ll be compensated, but they should still see you as a person, not an incubator and they should treat you as an equal.
Agreement. There are a lot of key areas where you need to reach an agreement, such as what kind of relationship you would like to have before, during, and after the pregnancy. You must also agree on how many embryos will be implanted or carried, whether selective reduction is an option, and what happens in the case of fetal abnormalities or complications.
Communication. It’s important you are on the same page regarding communication. Will you be communicating mainly through the agency, or will you text daily baby bump pictures? Will the IPs be present at doctor’s appointments or are they okay with you just sending them a status report with the results of any tests?
Relationship. In some surrogacy arrangements, the surrogate hands off the baby at birth and that’s that. In others, you’ll stay in regular contact with the IPs as the child grows up. There is nothing wrong with either approach, but it’s important that both parties agree whether the relationship will be cordial, but businesslike, or if you’ll be like part of the family.
The preferences and relationship of you and the IPs may evolve throughout the journey. You may be surprised how close you may grow. But it’s important to enter the relationship feeling confident.
If you are not sure what to ask or consider, feel free to call the team at Surrogate Solutions. We want you to be confident in your IP match and have a happy and fulfilling pregnancy.