Should You Be a Surrogate for a Family Member? The Pros and Cons


Surrogacy is both rewarding and emotional for everyone involved – even more so when the surrogate is a family member. For many families, a family member acting as a surrogate can complicate relationships and your surrogacy journey. There are both good and bad factors to consider about being a surrogate for a family member.

The pros include:

  • You are someone the intended parents know and trust.
  • You’ll be able to stay in touch with the baby.
  • You’ll feel like you are doing something positive for a family member.

The cons are:

  • The intended parents may micromanage you in a way they would not another gestational surrogate (“Are you sure you should be eating that?”)
  • Family relationships can be complicated under the best of circumstances. This can add more stress.
  • You may feel pressured to be a surrogate even when you have doubts, or the IPs may feel pressured to use you even if they have misgivings.

If you decide to be a surrogate, be sure you have a good understanding of every aspect of the process, including medical, legal and emotional considerations.

  • Work with a lawyer familiar with laws in your state that pertain to surrogacy.
  • Commit all agreements to a contract so all details are on paper.
  • Agree on compensation for time missed from work, and medical and associated expenses.
  • Investigate insurance coverage for the entire process.
  • Draft a birthing plan that covers where the baby will be born and who will be in attendance.
  • Consider counseling to hash out any concerns you need to talk about.
  • Keep an open line of communication so every party feels free to speak their minds.

Work with a surrogacy agency

You may be surprised at what an agency can offer. While the surrogacy journey is a mystery to you, they’ve been through it many times. They can recommend the resources you need along the way, from fertility clinics to birthing centers to attorneys. They will review issues you may not have thought of. They know what makes a surrogacy journey go smoothly and what bumps may arise.

The specialists at Surrogate Solutions are happy to be there for you to answer questions and reassure you every step along the way. Begin by reading our previous article Should you Become a Gestational Surrogate.

If you have any questions, contact us at Surrogate Solutions today!

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