Gestational Surrogacy: Strategies for Intended Mothers on Bonding with Your Baby


As an intended mother, you’ve been dreaming of meeting your baby for a very long time. But now that the time is near, you may be worried about bonding with your new child. This is a very common fear, but there are steps you can take to make this transition a smooth and happy one.

Before the Birth

Don’t feel bad about mixed feelings. While you are no doubt delighted your child is soon to be born, you probably feel a little sad about all the struggles with infertility that came before. Take time to grieve and don’t hesitate to speak with a therapist if you are unable to cope with your feelings of loss on your own. It will be helpful to be emotionally healthy before you take on the challenges of parenthood.

Be as involved as possible in the pregnancy. Go to medical appointments with your surrogate; stay in close contact with her; check in regularly with your surrogacy agency to know what to expect.

Take time to prepare. Every step you take, from painting the nursery to buying onesies, brings you a step closer to meeting your baby. Treasure every moment.

Talk to your baby. Scientists say that baby can hear some sounds and voices in the womb. Make your voice familiar to your baby before he or she is born by speaking to the baby when you are with your gestational surrogate at appointments. Don’t feel silly about speaking to the baby. The baby can hear you and you’ll feel closer and more involved.

Keep a journal. Put your thoughts and feelings during the pregnancy down on paper. It will help you feel connected. Or write letters the baby can read when he or she is older.

When Your Baby is Born.

Attend the birth. As the intended mother, you should be present when the baby is born if possible. There may be circumstances that make it difficult to be there, but it will get your mother-child relationship off to a solid start.

Get skin-to-skin. In the first few days after birth, get as much skin-to-skin contact with your baby as possible. It can help you to bond and create a strong attachment.

Be patient. Every mother and baby take a while to get in sync. Don’t feel badly if you don’t fall into a rhythm right away. It has nothing to do with it being a surrogate pregnancy. Your relationship will soon be second nature.

Ask questions. Your surrogacy agency has helped hundreds of families bond with their new babies. There’s nothing you can ask they haven’t heard already.

Take your time and soon you will have a strong bond with your new baby. The team at Surrogate Solutions is here to help you every step along the way. If you have questions about bonding with your new baby or finding a surrogate to help you grow your family, contact Surrogate Solutions today!

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