Afraid to Get Excited About Your Surrogate’s Pregnancy? You’re Not Alone.


After years of infertility and loss, it’s understandable when intended parents focus on worst case scenarios. But being excessively guarded with your emotions can rob you of the pleasure of following the surrogate’s pregnancy and fully enjoying the anticipation of your child’s birth.

Even birth or adoptive parents have their share of anxiety before the big day, but as an intended parent, you can feel like the results are even further from your control.

Some common concerns Intended Parents share:

Financial worries. It’s hard to get excited about the pregnancy if you are worried about unanticipated costs. Talk to your agency to get a good estimate of expected costs and confirm with the insurance agency what will be covered and what you may need to cover out-of-pocket.

Mother/Baby Health. If you were able to carry the pregnancy yourself, you would eat nutritiously, get plenty exercise and protect yourself from hazards, but how do you know your surrogate will do the same? Try not to worry. Surrogates are thoroughly screened and of above-average health. You can share your concerns with the surrogate or the agency. If the surrogate is receptive, send her gifts such as healthy snacks or maternity workout wear.

Pregnancy not coming to term. You probably know better than anyone how little control you have over nature. But, when you work with a reputable agency, the surrogate will be screened for health and mental stability and required to have regular prenatal care as part of her contract. While a healthy pregnancy cannot be guaranteed, screening and monitoring can serve to reassure anxious intended parents.

Legal issues. Intended parents may worry about everything from fraud to custody questions, but working with an established surrogacy agency can go a long way toward anticipating and resolving any potential problems. They know the laws of the states where you and the surrogate are located. They consult with attorneys who are well versed in applicable regulations. Most importantly, they are there for you. Ask them questions – no matter how silly it may seem, they have heard it all before.

If you are like most IPs, as the pregnancy progresses, you will be less and less anxious and more excited as each office visit or ultrasound brings you closer to meeting your new little one. But for reassurance and expert guidance every step along your surrogacy journey, contact Gayle at Surrogate Solutions today!

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